15 texts i never sent
This made me cry
the last one made me lose it. I have so many tears running down my face
Literally sobbing reading these
It’s Mama swan protecting her baby! She doesn’t know the guy is just trying to help.. but then she’s like “Oh.. my bad. Thanks!!”
This is so heartwarming
No but imagine having that job. You gotta dance for a minute and a half every five minutes then you tag team it with a buddy. And you get paid to dance. You don’t even have to dance well!
Masculine Ways to Do Feminine Things by Dave Mercier.
THIS IS AMAZING
Oh my gosh the bag one I died, ‘carry her’
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) kids are growing up.
They grew eyebrows too
Did Agustus Gloop just Nevil Longbottum us??
no, but i think that Jordan Fry Nevil Longbottomed us
I think we missed the true Longbottom of this cast… Blair Dunlop
What was in that chocolate and where can I get some
"I never had an imaginary friend, just imaginary circumstances. I was so into the Indiana Jones movies and I would constantly reenact circumstances. I broke my left arm three times, two of which were me trying to be Indiana Jones. The first time, I tied sheets together and tried to climb the side of my house after I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. The second time, I was riding a horse and trying to gallop as fast as I could, like Indiana Jones, and got thrown from the horse. The third time I was bit older and it didn’t have anything to do with trying to be Indiana Jones" — Pedro Pascal interviewed by Sarah Paulson for Interview
Weird. It’s almost like people who do not get pregnant don’t even need abortions.
IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET
IN RELATED NEWS: SCIENTISTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THE EARTH REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN.
NOW OVER TO JIM WITH THE SPORTS REPORT
“WELL BOB IT APPEARS BASKETBALL IS INDEED PLAYED WITH A BASKET. AND A BALL.”
TODAY, UNDER A FUCKING ROCK UNIVERSITY’S DEPARTMENT OF REALLY OBVIOUS SHIT PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE ENTITLED “THAT’S HOW IT FUCKING WORKS, YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS” IN THE JOURNAL OF THINGS I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU FOR GODDAMN FREE. AMERICAN POPULACE AWAITS A LAYMAN’S INTERPRETATION.
Biggest plot twist in history.
THIS is how you do grammar-nerdery, instead of policing people’s grammatical errors
This is my new favorite post on tumblr.
Into the Woods, 2014 (x)
FUCK I AM EXCITED
SO MANY WONDERFUL ACTORS I CANNOT WAIT!!!
GUYS. ITS A DISNEY MUSICAL. BY THE DIRECTOR OF CHICAGO AND THE PRODUCER OF WICKED. WATCH THE TRAILER.
I hope they don’t have that swinging dong like in the mainstage production ;__;